A Message to Bystanders:
When it comes to bystander intervention, if you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Maybe I’m reading too much into this”, “What if I make it worse?”, “Am I overreacting?” or “I wouldn’t even know what to say,” you’re not alone. That hesitation is a completely normal response.
The good news is that you don’t need to be completely certain about what’s happening or have the perfect words to make a difference.
Bystander intervention isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about paying attention to that hesitation and responding in ways that prioritize safety and care. Even a small action, like creating a distraction, or asking someone if they’re okay, can help shift a situation and let someone know they aren’t alone.
Explore the bystander actions shared here to discover practical ways to respond when something doesn’t feel right.
Small moves, real impact
Bystander intervention can change what happens next. Small actions can shift the tone of a conversation, disrupt pressure, create a safe opportunity for someone to leave, educate others, help someone feel less alone or show others that harmful behavior simply isn’t accepted. These moments may seem small, but together they can help interrupt sexual violence.
Watch the video to see bystander intervention in action.
Bystander Actions
Speak Up, Create a Distraction, Check In and Get Support are different actions you can take depending on the situation, your relationship with the people involved, and your own capacity. There’s no single “right” response. Any one of these can make a meaningful difference.
SPEAK UP
CREATE A DISTRACTION
CHECK IN
GET SUPPORT
SPEAK UP
CREATE A DISTRACTION
CHECK IN
GET SUPPORT
Consider Using This When
- A comment, joke, or behaviour crosses a line, and you feel safe responding in the moment.
- You want to signal that something isn’t okay or create an opportunity for someone to reconsider their comments or actions.
Keep In Mind
- Your safety comes first: don’t put yourself at risk.
- Speaking up doesn’t have to be confrontational; a simple comment or question can be enough.
- Keep it brief and focus on the behaviour, not the person.
- Ask questions to create reflection like, “what makes you say that?” or “have you thought about how that might land?”
What's Going On?
Receiving intimate photos doesn’t mean someone has consented to sex, wants to hook up, or is interested in meeting in person. Consent can’t be assumed from photos, flirting, or previous interactions.
Why This Matters
Assumptions about someone’s intentions can create pressure and contribute to harmful myths about consent. Speaking up can interrupt those assumptions before they influence someone’s behaviour and remind others that consent is based on ongoing communication, not guesswork.
What Could You Say?
“Receiving photos doesn’t mean they want to hook up.”
“You might want to check in with them before assuming.”
“Careful not to make assumptions about what they’re comfortable with.”
What's Going On?
Sharing or forwarding an intimate image without the person’s consent is a form of image-based sexual violence. Even if the image was shared privately or while in a relationship, that doesn’t mean it can be shared with others.
Why This Matters
Sharing an intimate image without someone’s consent is a violation of their privacy and trust. It can cause significant harm, and in Canada, sharing an intimate image without consent is a criminal offence. Speaking up can help stop the image from being shared further and reinforce that consent matters online just as much as it does in person.
What Could You Say?
“Did they agree to you sharing that?”
“I am not comfortable with this. Let’s delete this.”
“That was probably meant to stay private.”
Consider Using This When
- A situation feels like it’s moving in a direction that concerns you.
- You want to interrupt pressure or create space without confrontation.
Keep In Mind
- Your goal isn’t to embarrass or confront anyone; it’s to create an opening.
- Ask the person to help you with something or come with you for a moment.
- Start a conversation that naturally redirects their attention.
- If needed, combine the distraction with another pathway, like checking in afterward or getting support.
What's Going On?
What starts as joking can sometimes cross the line into disrespectful or degrading comments about another person. When these comments continue and others join in, they can make harmful behavior seem acceptable and create a situation where someone may feel uncomfortable speaking up.
Why This Matters
You don’t always have to challenge a comment directly to interrupt it. Changing the subject or redirecting people’s attention can create an opportunity for the interaction to move in a different direction. A small interruption can help prevent harmful comments from escalating.
What Could You Say?
“Let’s focus on practice.”
“Did anyone see the game last night?”
“Hey, can you help me with something for a minute”
What's Going On?
In this situation, someone has already said no, but the pressure continues. A simple distraction can break the momentum of the interaction, create space for the person to step away, and give them a chance to make their own choices.
Why This Matters
Pressure after someone has said no can make it harder for them to hold their boundary. Even a brief interruption can change the dynamic and create an opportunity for the conversation to end or shift in a different direction. Small actions like these can help reinforce that consent should be respected.
What Could You Say?
“Hey, can you help me with this reading? I don’t get it”
“Are you able to switch seats with me?”
“Can we get back to talking about the assignment?”
Consider Using This When
- You’re not sure what’s happening, but something doesn’t feel quite right.
- A direct intervention doesn’t feel like the safest or most appropriate option.
Keep In Mind
- Checking in can involve connecting with the person affected, the person causing harm, or both, depending on the situation.
- Respect their choices: the target may not want to talk or accept support, and that’s okay.
- Ask simple, open questions like, “Hey, are you okay?” or “How are you feeling about what’s going on?”
- Offer practical support, like walking with them, helping them connect with a friend, or staying with them while they decide what they want to do.
What's Going On?
When someone repeatedly follows or approaches another person after they’ve shown they’re not interested, it’s worth paying attention. Rather than confronting the person directly, which may increase the risk for the person being targeted, checking in privately allows you to ask how they’re doing and what support might be helpful to them.
Why This Matters
Stalking and repeated unwanted attention can have a significant impact on someone’s sense of safety and wellbeing. A simple check in lets someone know they aren’t alone and creates space to talk about what support might look like. That could mean walking together, helping them document concerning behaviour, or connecting them with campus support.
What Could You Say?
“Hey, I noticed they keep trying to talk to you after class. How are you feeling about it?”
“Do you want to walk together?”
“Would it help if I stayed with you until they leave?”
What's Going On?
Consent should always be freely given. When someone continues asking for explicit photos after the other person has said they aren’t interested, it can create pressure and make it harder for them to say no freely. Even if harm isn’t intended, repeated requests can make someone feel uncomfortable or obligated.
Why This Matters
Respecting consent means accepting someone’s response without trying to change their mind. Checking in can create a space for someone to reflect on their behavior and consider how their actions may affect another person. A simple conversation can help reinforce the importance of respecting boundaries and making sure consent is freely given.
What Could You Say?
“It sounded like they’d already said no.”
“Hey can I ask you something? It seemed like they weren’t interested in sending these photos.”
“If they’re not responding, it might be best to leave it there.”
“I wonder if it’s worth giving them some space.
Consider Using This When
- The situation feels unsafe or beyond what you can manage on your own.
- Someone needs immediate assistance or additional support.
- The behaviour is ongoing or escalating.
Keep In Mind
- You don’t have to handle every situation on your own.
- Choose someone who is appropriate for the situation and likely to respond in a supportive way.
- If possible, involve the person affected in decisions about getting support, unless there’s an immediate safety concern.
- Ask a friend, instructor, residence advisor, elder, or another trusted person to help.
What's Going On?
A person who appears very intoxicated is about to leave with someone else, and you notice something that makes you concerned about their safety. While being intoxicated does not always mean someone cannot consent, a person who is incapacitated cannot consent. If someone is unable to communicate clearly, make decisions, or understand what is happening, getting support can help keep them safe.
Why This Matters
When someone is very intoxicated, their safety and wellbeing becomes the priority, but it can be difficult to know what to do. Whether you involve a friend, host, residence advisor, or event staff, responding together is often safer and more effective than responding alone. It also helps share responsibility and improve safety for everyone involved
What Could You Say?
“Can you come with me? I’m worried about what’s happening over there.”
“Could you help me find the host or event staff? I’m concerned about someone’s safety.”
“I think someone might need help. Can we check in together?”
“Can we go make sure they’re alright?”
What's going on?
During class, your classmates start talking about a peer in a sexual way. Others laugh along and encourage the comments. Sexualizing or disrespecting someone in this way is inappropriate in any setting, but in a male-dominated spaces like trades, these behaviors create environments where people feel unwelcome, undervalued and excluded. It also minimizes their skills, experience and ability to be seen equally.
Why This Matters
Small comments and behaviours contribute to cultures where disrespect is normalized. When people are treated like they don’t belong it can create barriers to participate and make it even harder for women or other underrepresented groups to enter, stay and succeed in trades.
What Could You Say?
“Those comments that were being made didn’t feel right. Should we talk to the instructor after class?”
Ask a classmate what to do, “I don’t agree with what they’re saying, what should we do?”
Talk to the instructor after class, “hey.. Some people are making some comments, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
About the Campaign
Be More Than a Bystander is an education program that inspires action and helps create safer, more respectful communities. Developed by EVA BC in partnership with the BC Lions Football Club in 2011, the program equips young people with the confidence and practical skills to recognize, respond to, and help prevent gender-based violence.
The program has since expanded to workplaces, communities, and post-secondary institutions. This campaign focuses on moments of hesitation—when something doesn’t feel right, but people aren’t sure what to say or do. Through practical bystander actions, students learn that even small actions can support others, interrupt harmful behaviour, and help create a culture where violence is not accepted.
To order print resources or learn more, please email bystander@endingviolence.org.
Resources + Referral Directory
The information in this campaign is designed to help you recognize situations and explore ways to respond.
If you have experienced, witnessed, or are concerned about sexual violence, harassment, stalking, or other unwanted behaviour, additional support is available. Explore the resources below to find services that meet your needs, whether you’re looking for information, emotional support, accommodations, or help understanding your options.
Funder Recognition
This campaign is supported through funding from Women and Gender Equality Canada and the Ministry of Post-Secondary Education and Future Skills under the National Action Plan to End Gender-Based Violence. This support furthers the ongoing work under Safe and Supported: B.C.’s Gender-Based Violence Action Plan and helps expand access to sexual violence prevention education and practical bystander intervention resources for post-secondary communities across British Columbia.
Learn More
This post-secondary adaptation of Be More Than a Bystander provides students with practical tools to recognize and respond to situations that don’t feel right. For additional information, resources, and education related to sexual violence prevention in post-secondary communities, visit the Ministry of Post-Secondary Education and Future Skills’ Safe Campuses BC campaign.
